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The Modesty Pitfall

Most of us have been trained to be very modest. When it comes to saying something good about our selves we feel very queasy about blowing our own trumpet. Right, no body is asking you to do any trumpet blowing but facts have to be stated as facts.

If you are a music lover and have a good voice too, I can’t see why you can’t put it down like that itself. Why can’t you declare simply without sounding very proud that you have good voice? A pointer that you could bear in mind would be to add something like, “My friends think that I sing rather well.”

There now, you can’t feel too bad about something as simple as that. It is as good as saying “some people think that I sing well, but it is for you to decide whether I have a good voice or not.” Similar statements that you can work on and even add are given below.

“Lots of people appreciate my cooking.”
“I am no Rembrandt, but I enjoy painting.”
“I like decorating, and many of my friends think that my tastes are not too bad.”
So go ahead, if you really have a talent, you might as well as let others know about it, after all a talented person would any way like to be appreciated by a partner.

While we are talking about modesty, there is one question that I want to address right now. It is something that all of us are familiar with. If you have chatted with a stranger with whom you are trying to build a rapport you must have been confronted with the question before. The question is “what do you look like?’

I have often wondered about the sense of this question. The best answers that I could come up with are
“I look like a cross between an orangutan and a Tasmanian devil” or “I have my mothers teeth, my fathers nose, my uncle’s eyes and my roommates’ shoes.”

But of course we cannot give such answers which funny though they might sound, might just rub the person in the wrong way. What the person actually means is, “are you good looking or not?”

A very tricky question indeed! How can you answer such a question with out sounding either super modest or extremely vain? The answer to that is not to tell them the answer directly. You can say something like:
“I am as fresh as peppermint.”
“I look like a bunch of fresh lilies.”
“I have the appeal of a bowl of fresh fruit.”
If the person still does not take the hint, then give them a detailed description of ever inch and let he or she decide for himself or herself.



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Search through all the Content:
Introduction
Why You Need To Know More...
Tastes Differ
Reading This Book
What Makes Online Dating So Different?
The Magic of the Internet
How Did Online Dating Become So Popular?
Be Clear About What You Want
Marriage Versus A Casual Relationship
Dating Comes From a Fundamental Need
Online Dating Is Here To Stay
Online Dating - How To Get The Most Out Of It
Step 1: Getting Started
Where Do You Start?
More Than Looks
Common Interests
What Interests You In A Person?
Key Word Searches
Likes Versus Dislikes
Friends First
Mr. Right and Ms. Wrong
Step 2: Making Yourself Look Like A Million Dollars
The Dream Profile
The Face In The Mirror
The Modesty Pitfall
The Braggart Pitfall
The Hackneyed Pitfall
The Boredom Pitfall
The Vagueness Pitfall
The Web of deceit
Your alter ego
Brevity is key
You are Unique
The Animal Test
Step 3: Letting The Relationship Blossom
Nicknames and Pet names
Helping your Memory
Small Talk
Beware of Instant Intimacy
4 Ways To Tell If Someone Is Lying
Step 4: Meeting Face To Face
The Rendezvous
Leaving Your Mark Behind
Clothes Maketh A Man (Or Woman)
Footing the Bill
Many Dates
Offline Dating: How To Make That Great Impression
The Secret is Charm
Gifts?
Step 5: Once Bitten
Signing Off