One thing we all really understand is that dieting is hard. It isn’t just a case of ‘not eating so much’ or ‘showing a little willpower.’ Our bodies have been evolving over millions of years into very efficient energy storing machines. There wasn’t always as much food as there presently is, so our systems are naturally inclined to want to store up energy whenever they can. When we try to short-circuit that process and control our diets, our bodies often argue with us! We get hunger pangs, fatigue symptoms, and all the other things we’ve discussed so far.
On top of that we often have others making things harder for us, deliberately or inadvertently, with such advice as ‘you don’t really need a diet’ or ‘just one meal out won’t hurt you.’ With so much in our way, it can be so unfortunately easy to start feeling discouraged. One thing after the other–be it our own body, timing and scheduling, money concerns or our well meaning friends–builds up until we just start telling ourselves that it’s too hard, and maybe we’d feel better trying again later.
The thing is, though, these feelings are temporary. Our friends aren’t always going to trip us up; as they come to understand our choices, they will start to respect them more and do what they can to help. Our bodies won’t always fight us, either. As we get used to our changes in diet, our bodies adapt and stop sending those frustrating signals that cause us so much frustration.
So as an important part of building our strong habits, we need to learn to identify and stop unhealthy criticism and discouragement. Here are four key steps to help you overcome these obstacles and clear the path to your goals.
Step One – Identification
As we’ve stressed before, the key to control is having good information. To that end, carry around your notebook or journal with you today. Every time you have a discouraging thought, stop and write it down. In another article we discussed the STOP method, so feel free to incorporate this process into your STOP behaviors. After all, good habits build on each other and make each other stronger.
At the same time, make sure you also studiously note down every positive action you find yourself taking during the day. Whether it’s a small step like having a healthy granola bar instead of a chocolate or reaching a major goal in a fifteen-day plan, make a note of it alongside your negative actions. Keep these notes together, they’ll be important in a bit.
Step Two – Comparison
So the day has come to an end, and you’ve kept your notes. Now is the time to take a look at them side by side and see just what they look like. Chances are that for most cases, you probably had several good choices for each discouraging thought. When we try to set new goals for ourselves, we often find ourselves trying to compensate for bad choices with several good ones, and this can sometimes happen when we’re talking about discouraging thoughts as well.
However, even if your negative thoughts outweighed your good ones for a day, you shouldn’t give up. Consider it another goal to set, that for the next day you’ll make sure to build up plenty of positive reminders to help offset the negative ones.
Step Three – Qualification
There is a difference between legitimate criticism and unhealthy discouragement. Sometimes we do genuinely mess up, and eat a bit more than we intended. In these cases, it is entirely fine to say to ourselves, ‘That didn’t go very well, I should do better next time.’ But do notice the second part of the phrase, the all-important ‘next time.’
Healthy criticism is aimed at keeping us on the right track, and identifying where we’ve made a mistake so that we don’t do it again. Unhealthy discouragement by contrast will very rarely have an uplifting ‘next time’ message attached. More likely these thoughts will be along the lines of ‘you messed up, just like always.’
Take a little time to get some distance from your negative thoughts. Give yourself a day so you have the ability to think clearly and in proper context, and then take a look back at your recent list of discouraging remarks you’ve made to yourself. Consider each one, and see whether it was just frustration talking or if there might be a grain of truth to it. If the latter case is true, consider how you can rephrase the original thought into a healthy bit of criticism, adding a positive ‘next time,’ message.
Step Four – Practice
Our emotions come and go in cycles, and they also respond strongly to outside influences. Sometimes we’ll be going along just fine, and a bad week at work will lead us to get frustrated with other things, including our diet efforts, and we’ll let that discouragement creep in.
At times like this, we have to remember to keep identifying, comparing, and qualifying our negative remarks, until we’ve traded them entirely in for more appropriate, healthy criticism that we can use to seriously look at our problems and better ourselves.
Discouragement can be our worst enemy, but it is one we can beat with careful effort and a little time. Integrate these four steps into your daily routine to ditch discouraging thoughts and replace them with the healthy, positive habits needed to attain your weight loss goals.
Author’s Note: Article published here.
…
Larry Tobin is the co-creator of http://www.HabitChanger.com/, offering effective and empowering solutions for losing weight. Try our 42-day weight loss program for Losing Weight.
Read more articles written by Larry Tobin
Related posts:
- Losing Weight – STOP and Shed Inches
One of the most interesting truths is that we are our own worst enemies. We can be full of confidence, exuberance, and encouragement for our friends and families. We’ll exhort them to quit smoking, support them in taking the time to exercise, and compliment them on even the slightest loss... - Losing Weight – Weighing In
Part of our ultimate goal in doing all this habit changing is to lose weight, of course. We’ve talked about making goals and keeping our eye on them, and how to set achievable benchmarks for ourselves as we do what we can to make ourselves healthier. Part of that is... - Losing Weight and Building Confidence
Having confidence in your goal is important. It’s tough to stick to something we don’t believe we can do, after all. We’ve talked in other articles about how easy it is to get frustrated, and about controlling negative thoughts in our effort to build up good and healthy habits. We’ve... - Losing Weight – 3 Steps to Mix Socializing with Dieting
We are a social and habitual species, so it’s natural that we build up patterns of behavior related to socializing. We go out with friends and have our little rituals, such as eating dinner out, having a few drinks, or getting ice cream at the corner shop. While these calorie-centered... - Losing Weight – Counting and Setting Goals
Effective weight loss hinges on goal setting. While weight loss itself is our final goal, the end product we want to achieve, our weight loss journey isn’t just a one-step process. If it were that easy everyone would likely have done it already. The truth is that the ideal weight... - Losing Weight – Take Control of Late Night Snacking
First of all let’s get something straight: We have all been there. It gets late at night, we’ve had a long day and we feel those hunger pangs hit us. We don’t want to make a big meal, so we reach for that snack instead. Of course when it’s late... - Losing Weight – The Power of Practicing No
As a species, we are naturally inclined to say ‘yes’ to others. Unfortunately, sometimes we find ourselves saying yes even if it sets us back on our own goals and efforts to build good, healthy habits. For better or worse, saying yes and no have become complex matters. We don’t... - Losing Weight – Taming Your Trigger Foods
There are certain things we just cannot stop eating once we’ve begun. A bag of chips, bread, a favorite chocolate or candy, whatever it is that sets us off makes us keep eating until we feel over-full or finish the bag. These are what we call trigger foods, and they... - Losing Weight – The Addiction of Comfort Food
Its very name is appealing – comfort food. What could be more wonderful than a food that helps us feel better? Almost everyone can name something that they eat when they’re just feeling sour or sad. Chinese take-out, chocolate cake, raspberry ice cream, banana pancakes and many others make the... - Losing Weight – Share the Health with Family-Friendly Habits
Whether we know it or not, we’re our kids’ most important teachers. They’ll likely spend far more time with us in their formative years than anyone else, and everything we do is an opportunity for them to learn. Unfortunately, sometimes they learn from our mistakes just as readily as our... - Losing Weight – A Body in Motion
Newton tells us that a body in motion will stay in motion unless acted upon; likewise, a body at rest will stay at rest until acted upon. This gives us a powerful metaphor for the difficulties of getting into a proper, healthy exercise habit that can help shed weight and... - Losing Weight – A Pattern of Portion Control
Managing our weight can be a tricky proposition. Unhealthy food choices surround us, we don’t always have the opportunity to exercise, and society’s system of three meals a day can send our metabolism into fits. Finding a way to take control is one of the most important steps that we... - Losing Weight: Redefine Full in Four Steps
Overeating is about more than reckless epic binges or always ordering the double large portion from your favorite restaurant. In many cases it can actually be a very subtle occurrence, done one small step at a time rather than in a big and noticeable way. For example, do you frequently... - Losing Weight – Redirecting Your Snacking Habit
Snacking is a pretty natural impulse. While we may be accustomed to three meals a day as a standard practice, our body is actually functioning nonstop. It will process food whenever it’s put into the system, and it uses up energy without ceasing. Even when you’re asleep, your brain is... - Did You Lose Water Weight or Fat?
Many diets make you lose water weight! It’s a dirty secret that the weight loss industry would rather keep under wraps. You’ve seen it thousands of times – a brand new weight loss product comes on the market promising to help you lose huge amounts of weight in a very...