Here are some cleverly disguised “team efforts” that can salvage your relationship before it’s too late. These are methods to be used when a marriage or live-in relationship splits up; they don’t really work for couples who aren’t living together.
Clever ways to bring your ex back without them even realizing it.
One of the toughest things about moving to separate living quarters is splitting up your possessions. If it was a very long relationship, you may not even remember who bought what, or things may have been purchased from a joint bank account.
Use this situation to your advantage. Let’s go room by room and discuss how the team effort of cleaning house could potentially save your relationship.
IN THE BEDROOM
If you’re in the process of packing up your clothes, make it a point to pull out certain pieces of your ex’s clothing that you’ve always liked. Bring up a memory: “I remember you wore this that night we had that great picnic on the beach.”
Try to immerse yourselves as deeply in the memory as possible. Bring back all the wonderful feelings you had doing things together whilst you two were in love.
These are the same feelings that drive us to forget the bad parts of a relationship and get back together with an ex, so the more of these feelings you can stir up, the better!
Don’t have a specific memory? Just say something like, “I’ve always loved you in this.” (Note to guys: Don’t do this for lingerie. It sends the wrong message.)
IN THE LIVING ROOM
The living room gives you a place to bring up great memories as well. Taking photographs off the wall and reminiscing about how young, thin, and happy you once were is a good start.
Whilst boxing up your movies, talk about the first time you saw them. Bonus points if you can convince your ex to stop packing and watch their favorite (preferably sappy!) movie with you.
As with the bedroom, bring up memories as much as possible. Ask your ex questions (even if you remember the answer). For example, holding a picture of you and your ex camping, ask them: “Do you remember what year this was? I can’t remember if it was before or after the kids.”
Get your ex reminiscing and talking about the good times!
IN THE KITCHEN
The kitchen can be an odd place to pack. Do you split up the flatware and silverware evenly? Do you give it all to your ex or keep it all yourself? What about the pots and pans and pantry items?
This is a place where you can show your generosity and melt your ex’s cold heart. “You take the cooking stuff,” you’ll say. “You were always the better cook. You’ll use them more than I will.”
If your kitchen is down to the bare bones, make it a team effort to scrounge up enough foodstuff to cook a “final” meal together. (Hint: You can make a really good chili with the contents of most people’s pantries!)
Take out all the food you have left in the house and brainstorm together to find something you can make and enjoy while you’re both hot, sweaty, and tired from a day of packing. Then congratulate your ex on their ingenuity when they come up with an idea for a meal. No matter how horrible it turns out, make it out like you both did a great job with dinner.
Packing up your place in preparation for moving apart doesn’t mean it’s over. It’s the perfect time to use these techniques to plant the idea in your ex’s head that things really aren’t as bad as they seem.
You may still have to separate for a while, but if you continue to work on my other proven techniques, you’ll be moving back in together in no time.
This article published here.
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Written by James Kern. Many make the wrong moves after a break up. It’s vital to know what exactly needs to be done if you stand any chance of saving your relationship. Head over to http://www.backtogetherforever.com/ for your free video.
Read more articles written by James Kern
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