Let’s face it; we all want to find our special someone. Even on a “No Strings Attached” dating site, I am looking for a regular girlfriend.
Unfortunately, too many people involved in the Dating Game are hurting their chances of success, before they even go on that first date.
I will give you an example or two.
One lady I knew a few years back had been single for years. Her older sister thought she and I would be a good match, so the older sister played matchmaker. I agreed to at least give the younger sister a chance, so I tried to set up our first date. But, I never actually got the chance to go out with my friend’s little sister.
Why? You might be surprised.
The younger sister would only agree to go out on a first date with me, IF I promised to marry her!!!
I would not make that kind of promise. Sure, I was looking for a wife, but I was not going to commit to marriage with a woman with whom I had never been on a date!
I still see the younger sister’s profile in Yahoo Personals every time I look in her hometown to see who is available. We are actually 15 years down the road. I have been in a few relationships, including one marriage, and yet she is still looking for her next husband.
There was another lady for whom I was very fond, and I really wanted to date. But her deal was that she would not agree to a date, unless I would agree to date her for several months.
I did not even know whether I would like her after our first date, let alone like her enough to date her for several months based on a commitment made before I got to know her. (She is also still looking for a boyfriend on Yahoo Personals, as well.)
Put yourself in my shoes. If you were to go out with me, you may decide after the first date that we are not compatible. So why would you want to commit to several months worth of dates or even marriage prior to your first date with me? You wouldn’t, would you?
“No Strings Attached” is the only way to date, if you ask me. We should have the freedom to go on a date, without having to commit ourselves to anything beyond that first date. We should feel that we have the freedom to say no. If we don’t work together as a couple, there should be no expectation to drag it out for months with no positive end in sight.
We should all have the freedom to choose if we want to go on a second date, a third date, or even a twentieth date.
We should only seek marriage because we both want to be married to each other. We should not ever feel obligated to marriage on a first date or third.
So here I am. I don’t want to lie to you. My personal integrity will not allow me to lie to you.
But, if you want me to agree to multiple dates or marriage before we go on our first date, then the only way that you and I will ever go out is if I let my integrity fall by the wayside.
The only commitment I can make to you is that if I like you, we can go out twice. If we continue to mutually like one another, then maybe we can go out on a third date. And maybe some day, we will decide that we would be a good pair in marriage.
And if this is not acceptable to you, then I might have to throw my personal integrity out the window, and lie to you, just so I can go on that first date with you to see if we could be a good match.
If you don’t want guys to lie to you about the future, then don’t ask them to commit to something that no person in their right mind will commit to before the first date!
Previously published here.
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Lance Metzger writes about relationships, offline and online dating. If you liked this article, you can read more Lance Metzger articles at this link. “No Strings Attached” simply means, “Let’s get to know one another before we start making any commitments to one another.” To explore free online dating, please visit the NSA Dating Site at: http://www.nsadatingsite.com/
Read more articles written by Lance Metzger
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