It’s frustrating – no matter what you try, she just won’t return your calls, or give you the time of day and listen. You’re smitten. You want nothing more than to talk with this woman and tell her how you’re feeling, but you keep getting bumped to voicemail. Your texts vanish into a void and are never returned. Your emails go unread.
She’s blocked you on Facebook and your only viable means of knowing what’s going on in her life is her Twitter stream, and even that’s been pretty vague lately.
What’s a guy to do?
OPTION 1: Get Serious and Anonymous
If she’s not responding to your attempts to digitally woo her, it’s time to kick it old school with a pen and paper.
Write a letter telling her exactly what she means to you and how much you value having her in your life.
Now is not the time to be manly – it’s time to really open up and say everything you’re feeling. If you don’t feel totally naked and exposed by the contents of the letter, you’re not doing it right. Bear your heart to her because it might be your last chance to do so.
End your letter with one of those classic chick flick promises:
For the next two weeks, I will be at the coffee shop on the corner of Main Street and Matthews Road between the hours of 6 and 8 pm. If you come, then I know you accept my apology and want to give us another shot. If not, I completely understand and will always keep you in my heart. If this is goodbye, you need do nothing. If we have a chance, all you need to do is show up. This is entirely your decision and I respect it no matter what you choose.
Now, here’s the important part.
Do not address the letter yourself. If she sees your handwriting on the envelope, there’s a good chance that letter is going to go into that “circular file” (aka the trash bin!), unopened.
Have a female friend address the letter to her and do not leave a return address. If you want to take things even a stop further, drive a few towns over so the postage is stamped from a town other than yours.
OPTION 2: Drop Off The Face of the Planet
This sounds counterintuitive, but think about it.
You’ve been in her face nonstop for how long now? A few weeks? A month?
You’ve been desperately trying at every turn to get her to pay attention to you. Believe me, she’s noticed.
Disappearing into thin air completely unannounced will get her attention. At first, she may not realize what’s missing.
She’ll think, “Today feels… weird. Quiet. Too quiet.”
Then it will dawn on her – you haven’t called, texted or emailed all day.
Maybe she’ll be happy at first. She’ll revel in her newfound sense of peace without your constant barrage of begging and pleading. But after a few days, she’ll start to wonder.
Curiosity will get the best of her and she’ll start digging to see what’s going on in your life. Did you get a new girlfriend? Did you go out of town? Are you in the burns unit of your local hospital?
Bonus points if you can manage to drop off from the radar of all your mutual friends.
Hold your ground for as long as it takes for her to email you and ask if you’re okay. If you get that email, you know she still cares about you, even a little bit. Slowly, carefully, cautiously work your way back into her world from there.
If you never get that email, then I’m sorry to say that she probably doesn’t care enough about you to be worth pursuing.
Do Some Soul Searching
If you’re freshly dumped, it really hurts. You may be wondering if this girl is the last good one you’ll ever find.
Remember throughout the process to keep your wits about you. Make a list of the things you loved about her and the things that irked you while you were dating.
Know exactly why you want her back in your life. This will do one of two things – it will strengthen your resolve to make the relationship work or it will make you realize that you don’t necessarily miss HER, you just miss having a girlfriend.
Know yourself and it will be easier for you to have successful relationships with others.
…
James Kern makes it easy to claw back your ex and rapidly turn around a hopeless situation. To receive your free Quick Start Guide visit Back Together Forever at http://www.backtogetherforever.com/
Read more articles written by James Kern
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